Major Life Transitions
Just Being Newlyweds
Remember our happy ending?
Well, being newlyweds is a huge adjustment and life transition for some. You have gone from either living on your own, with the family, or now living together.
It is also a transition and change for couples who live together before marriage! Trust me; I felt that shift, too, after I got married.
It is important to recognize the shift and how it makes you feel.
Together, you can set boundaries, discuss the foundations of the marriage, pillars of values, communication, and how to bring these together as a couple.
Bringing home a baby!
Well! What a happy ending it is! Having a baby brings such love to a home; it’s that my-heart-will-explode kind of love – as well as many other explosions. Don’t say I didn’t warn you – have many wipes on hand!
Bringing home a baby is very stressful for some families, especially if couples don’t have any family, friends, or outside help.
The first change you notice involves your sleep. Oh, how you shall miss that sweet sleep.
Running on little sleep for both parents is quite challenging and can cause some depressive symptoms, anxiety, and, frankly, anger in some people.
Husbands feel a little inadequate if you’re a breastfeeding mama. Some husbands return to work soon after the baby – and the mother feels resentful, stressed out, and extremely tired.
Mothers feel the impact.
Mothers feel overwhelmed from lack of sleep, feeding schedules, bodies trying to heal, and many other changes that come with a new baby.
We do what we have to do to survive, even if that means not working as a team anymore.
We count the hours of sleep the other spouse got and begin comparing.
We start to judge one another on how we’re doing things with the baby – “Don’t change his diaper like that. You will hurt her; hold her properly; you’re doing it all wrong.”
But in reality, having a baby is new to both parties, and you are trying to figure it out. But why aren’t you doing it together?
The greatest gift you can give a child is a strong relationship between the two of you.
– Dr. John Gottman
A New Adventure!
People move for many reasons, including new jobs, better income, cheaper homes, weather, and a better lifestyle. But relocating together as a couple is quite challenging, whether it’s across the country or the next town over.
Though a new adventure can be fun, it can also be quite stressful. We forget that moving is also an adjustment, especially if we don’t have family or friends around for support.
Relocation affected Mary*.
Mary moved from one state to another and shared with me her experiences.
“I recently moved from a different state to California for a new job, and I needed a new perspective. I love the weather here, the mountains, valleys, and most of all, the lifestyle. I’ve always lived in a small town with cold weather, so my new life is very refreshing for me.
I do, however, feel quite lonely. I don’t know anyone here, and it’s so hard to meet people. My family doesn’t live here, and I talk to my friends back home, but it’s not the same as it used to be.
I’m afraid I am becoming depressed, and meeting new people is causing me some anxiety. What do I do?”
Mary’s problem is not unique.
All kinds of worries, fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms creep into our minds when we leave an entire life behind to build a new one.
I’ve had some personal experience with the emotional stress of moving from the United Kingdom to the United States. It was a rough journey.
But with the right support and guidance, I eventually made it through and embraced this new adventure.
*Name changed to protect client confidentiality.
Therapy helps with life’s transitions.
Therapy helps you navigate through significant life transitions, including…
Establishing new boundaries in your relationship – For newlyweds, therapy helps you learn to find individual personal time while setting time aside for one another.
Working as a team and not against one another – You gain insight into how to communicate better so each person’s needs are getting met, fight less, and spend more time bonding with the baby and one another.
Learning conflict resolution skills – This helps you resolve conflicts before they escalate, take the time to decompress, and come back to one another to communicate more positively.
Learning about self-care – We all need to learn about what self-care means to us and how we can spend some time on ourselves.
Minimizing baby’s impact – Family roles shift with a new baby. Parents need to understand this shift, what each person’s parenting style is, and how to integrate those differences.
Revamping your goals – With a new move on the horizon, revamping your work, financial, and even life goals is essential.
Improving communication skills – Clear and open communication improves relationships, and therapy helps improve communication skills when meeting new people and interacting with your spouse.
Let me be your guide.
I would be pleased to guide you through your journey, whatever that may be.
Dealing with major life transitions is sometimes hard to navigate at first, but with proper support and guidance, you’ll begin to enjoy your new adventure.
Don’t hesitate to call me for a free 15-minute consultation at (805) 651-3735 or send me an email at [email protected].
Let’s chat today!